You Should Not Own A Home If...

(Just for fun) - If you're considering buying a house, you should not own a home if...

• Home prices are reduced in this buyer's market and you can never resist a sale.
• You really don't want a house, you just want to cash in on the $8,000 tax credit.
• Just because your girlfriend or boyfriend is a Realtor.
• Just because your mom or dad is a Realtor.
• Just because your cousin, friend, neighbor or waitress is a Realtor!
• If all the people mentioned above are not a Realtor but a loan officer...
  
• You're paying your bills with credit cards and racking up over limit fees.
• You have four children, a St. Bernard and three goldfish but can only afford a one bedroom efficiency.
• Just because the first month's mortgage payment is waived.
• You relocate as frequently as you brush your teeth.
• You don't know how to use a toilet plunger, hammer, lawn mower, garage door opener or dehumidifier and you can't afford to pay someone who does.
• You think that a $40,000 house with no roof is a great idea and your roofer friend who will put one on for a six pack is moving to Miami.
• Your time line for living in your new home is the same time line as the bank's foreclosure process.
• You're banking on paying your mortgage by renting your bedrooms to friends who don't have jobs.
• You're planning on quitting your six-figure job and following your dream of selling ice sculptures on eBay.
• You don't know the difference between the smell of leaking gas from the furnace and Downy fabric softener.
• You think your landlord will come over at 2am when your water heater is flooding your basement.
• You're planning on using your security deposit to pay for your closing costs and your cat has marked his territory in every corner of the living room.
• You want to buy a fixer upper and your idea of rehab is not drinking in your new home.
• You're influenced by an episode on HGTV where they remodeled an entire home for under $500 because they have a carpenter on staff named MacGyver.
• You can't afford appliances for your new home so you're going to eat out every night to save for them.
• You don't know how to let your friends inside without buzzing them in.
• You've never changed a light bulb but everything they do on the "This Old House" episodes, you say: "Man, I could've done that blindfolded."
• You need to work 96 hours a week including Christmas to afford your new mortgage payment.
• Your spouse is the bread winner and you're contemplating divorce.
• You can't fill out the change of address card at the post office because you haven't paid taxes for five years and you're hiding from the FBI.
• You're getting married and want to buy a home because everyone thinks you should except you.
• You don't get along with people and can only afford a condo in a 146 unit high rise.
• You believe that being over extended and house poor is okay as long as you fit in.
• You love nature and view the roots coming into the foundation as a thing of beauty and art.
• You are competitive and obsessive compulsive. Your last name is Smith and the people living next door to the house you're going to buy have the last name of Jones.