You Know You Live In Cleveland If...

• ... People assume you know what LeBron is doing in 2010 and that you know him personally.
• ... You tell taxi cab drivers: "Take me to the Clinic." and they don't ask which one.
• ... You've only been in a taxi cab once, (To go to the Clinic).
• ... You can spell and pronounce Cuyahoga.
• ... Someone says, "Head North", and the first thing you think of is Lake Erie.
• ... You can pinpoint and stereotype people based on area code.
• ... You've put a dog bone in your mouth at least once in the 80's.
• ... You tell others about the Rock Hall but never go.
• ... You never question the fact that the Rock Hall doesn't hold inductions here. You just shrug.
• ... You've had nightmares about Mark from Norton's Furniture.
• ... You know not to be seen on Brookpark Rd. after 10pm.
• ... You know the address of Volk's by heart and have watched him age like a relative.
• ... You prefer driving in the winter when the snow covers all the potholes.
• ... "Cleveland rocks" means there are men downtown playing saxophones.
• ... You feel sorry for car dealerships in January that still put up balloons but you can't see the cars.
• ... You can finish Bob Cerpentini's line, "American and..."
• ... You drink pop not soda.
• ... People outside of Ohio assume you know how Drew Carey is doing.
• ... You give directions using minutes not miles.
• ... Your idea of a "vacation" is a day at Put-In-Bay.
• ... You claim Cedar Point as yours but it's in Sandusky.
• ... You're both embarrassed and proud to take an out-of-towner to Steve's Hot Dogs.
• ... You've given up using "traffic" as an excuse for being late to work.
• ... You don't think of poker when you hear the words, "Plain Dealer"
• ... It takes you two seconds to get to the sports section, but four hours to read it.
• ... You wonder nightly if Ramona Robinson will ever change her hair.
• ... You're tired of seeing for sale signs on your street so you steal them for garage sale signs.
• ... You know that Christie's isn't an auction house. Or is it?
• ... You've watched Mark Nolan grow up and become Tim White. Literally.
• ... You stick with the middle lane on Dead Man's Curve unless you're feeling adventurous.
• ... You will always call it "The Jake."
• ... You're sick of Forbes.com confusingly naming us the best and worst place to live all the time...
  
• ... You've seen the movie "A Christmas Story" every Christmas since birth.
• ... Despite the jokes, you're proud to call Cleveland home and love this town.